What I've Become.

Connor. Florida. Musician. Unhappy.
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I hate her.


Maybe all i wanted from you is too feel the words I’m sorry absorb through my skin and into myself. Maybe i needed too believe when you said “I’m yours.” Maybe i just wanted too believe that i didn’t need you. You broke me into a million tiny pieces but yet you can still fit me together. You gave up on trying to prove me wrong. You gave up on being only mine. You gave up on me.

You took me, all of me. Claimed me as family, took my trust and secrets and used them against me. Now its only a matter of time before I’m known as “the kid who cuts himself” or “emo fuck” or God knows what else. It took a lot of me too trust you enough to let you in. I have always been broken but i never have had a taste of what it was like to be fixed just to have it shattered in your face again. You tricked me into thinking i mattered. Thus why i am so confused. Why did you do this too me?

Im so alone.
And you’re with him.

Part of me wants too say “i hate you.” Or “i never loved you” to maybe make myself believe it so i feel less hurt but i cant ignore the pain in my chest you left.

You punish me for what you have done too me so you can ignore how you feel. “You’re a piece of shit”
“You won’t kill yourself”
“You are a coward”

I didn’t know you could say that too me.

I miss who you were.
I wish she were here.


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depression blog

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